Food and Whining - A modest outlet for a mediocrity-weary diner.

I am unaware of any process in nature more volatile than that of rating a restaurant. The wildly-diverse experiences that wildly-diverse people can have even at the same establishment mimics the sporadic nature of earthquake predictions, snowflake patterns, or the formation of galaxies. To truly gauge a restaurant, all potential reviewers would need to dine on the same night with the same crowd, be cooked for by the same staff, served by the same server, at the same table, have the same tastes, having had the same prior dining experiences; already a staggering number of variables. Another factor, as any professional restaurant reviewer can tell you and most people discover on their own, is that one's impression of a restaurant can change radically even between visits. Chefs make mistakes, servers have “off nights”, moods of diners vary wildly, and what someone is craving should be aligned (ore or less) with the cuisine of the restaurant chosen. If you're in the mood for a stea...

Any time I'm in a new place, I want to try the local food. The local, legit, simple, unadulterated representation of the place. I want to know what's good wherever I am, and I strive to experience new and interesting foods whenever possible. While we all like to think we have an open mind, there are very likely foods somewhere in the world that will make you realize you're might not be as prepared for bold experimentation as you thought. It happened to me, not to a tiny island in southeast Asia or the outback of Australia, or high in the mountains somewhere "away from it all", it happened on my first trip to Paris. My work colleagues and I had just completed an obligatory day of supporting tourism and were anxious to eat. We were in search of a local place serving the “real stuff” made the “real way”. Fifteen minutes and a concierge recommendation later, the 10 of us were seated at a long table against a wall; perhaps an effort by the staff to isolate t...

For all of the obvious bad points about business travel (especially when trade shows are involved), there was one perk, one thread of cultural redemption I'll always cherish; for 6.5 years, I ate some amazing food on someone else's dime. (Fortunately, it was a cash-rich multi-billion dollar corporation.) New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Seattle, Boston, L.A., Paris, London, Stockholm, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Sydney... in each case, I was allowed to explore the local culinary scene in some detail without going bankrupt in the process. Uunless your job is actually to be a food reviewer, or you're the V.P. of something, you're unlikely to be given an appropriate budget. Inevitably, I or one of my coworkers, would bump into (or shoot right past at high speed) our allotted $75 a day. Ironically, when I did exceed my "per diem" by, say, $15.00, I received a scolding for it despite the fact that every day for the 5 days prior, the only thing I had eaten all da...

One aspect of business travel I cultivated (largely out of necessity) is the fine art of dining alone. I've since come to accept, and often even prefer, dining at the bar as it offers a number of efficiency-boosting dining options. 1. When there are no open tables and a line of people out the door waiting for one (via reservations or on the list as walk-ins), there is often room at the bar. Unfortunately, the seating philosophy is a bit of a free-for-all that requires a delicate mixture of manners sufficient to avoid conflict and assertiveness to gain yourself a seat. I've found a drink in hand passes the time nicely while waiting for a spot to open up and also allows for a perusal of the menu and/or wine list. 2. Once seated, the entertainment value of a bar seat really begins. For one thing, bartenders don't usually remain “in character” the way servers do. They will be polite and helpful while tossing napkins in front of you like a seasoned blackjack dealer, but the ...